I moved to Charlotte in 1995 and was in the 6th grade and was 13 years old, I meet some so called friends and would skip school and run away from home. In February of 1998 before Valentines Day I had a one night stand and after Valentines Day I started dating this guy named Cory. One day in late February or early march I felt sick and felt like I was pregnant, so I decide to go to Charlotte Pregnancy Care Center and they confirmed I was pregnant. I went home that day pretending I went to school and nothing was wrong but inside I was a mess. After about a week or so I told my teacher Ms. Woodward because she asked me why I have not been in her class, and she gave me a hug and told me everything would be just fine. She also said that she would tell my mom if I needed her too. I took that into consideration but told her I will let her know tomorrow if I want her to or not. So that evening my body was aching and I wasn't feeling well. I went to Ms. Woodward's classroom and asked her to tell my mom because I was too afraid of what she was going to say....
The phone rang and my heart starts racing, I am nervous and start sweating.. What is my mom going to say?? My mother got off the phone and yelled "AMBER!" I immediately knew it was my teacher on the other line. My mom asked me if it was true what my teacher was saying. I started to cry and say "yes". I cant remember much but I do know my mom was very mad at me and my mom telling me while I am eating a bowl of mac and cheese that my dad was crying outside.... I threw my fork down and ran to my room, mind you I am daddy's little girl and I never wanted to be the one whom made my dad cry. After all the emotions calmed down the next day we sat down and decide that I did not want to have a abortion and my parents couldn't really help me take care of the baby so we decide on adoption. My mom and dad looked into agency's and even maternity homes for pregnant teenagers.
So my parents decide to take me to Baptist Maternity Home in Asheville NC and the ride up there was long and emotional at times. I now my mom didn't want to send me away but she really didn't know what to do... I remember my mom gave me this teddy bear with a note that says something like "I'm only a phone call away, I didn't leave you and whenever you are lonely and need a hug here's my teddy bear I am giving to you yo borrow" I cried and cried.... We pull up to this big beautiful house with a big yard and I was amazed by the appearance of the outside. My mom, dad and I rang the doorbell and I saw Patsy and then came her husband Aubrey, they were the house parents. They showed me and my family around and informed us of the rules after that I said my good byes to my mom and dad and ran to my room. As they were leaving I was looking out my room crying ad holding my teddy bear. I wanted to go home, I hated it there. well at first.
I knew from the start that I was giving my baby up for adoption so I had meet with a lady at a agency in Charlotte. She came and saw me a couple of times while I was at the maternity home until I decide that I was unhappy with her service and I was not stuck with that agency if I wasn't happy with them. Somehow a meeting got set up with Bethany Christian Services with me to see if that was the agency I wanted to go with. As I came into the meeting room of the house I see this pretty attractive women that looked really nice and sweet. After the first meeting I knew then I wanted Diane to be my social worker through this process. Diane would come to the home or we would go out somewhere and she would ask a lot of questions and I would answer all of them then I there would be time she would just sit and listen to me talk. Over the course Diane became my friend, my second mother and a wonderful mentor. I would call Diane to tell all my problems whether it be with school, personal, home, my parents or even work; she was always there when I needed her. Diane started to show me different profiles and it seemed overwhelming at first but I managed and she helped me as well as insure me that no rush since I had found out way early in the pregnancy.
I saw this one profile and they seemed to be OK, they had interracial children that they have adopted and that was a concern since my child was interracial. I asked Diane does this family want contact with me? Can I get updates or pictures in the future? Diane told me "No, they prefer not to". I knew in my heart that they were not the right family for my child. So a day or two went by and Diane came back to the house with more profiles and I saw it, I knew right when I saw Jimmie and Chuck they were the ones. I don't know what told me but the more I read into their profile the more I wanted them to raise my baby. So I told Diane I want to meet them and see if I get the same feeling. She arranged a meeting and we meet at a pizza place, where we got to eat pizza and have drinks and you know for pregnant women food is the most important..LOL.. When we were driving to go there I was nervous, I had butterflies and everything, but ass soon as I saw them they gave me a hug and embraced me like we have known each other for years in fact I think it was even mentioned that it felt like we have known each other for years. The meeting went well and from then on I didn't look at any other profiles. I told Diane "I want them to be my baby's parents". So she dropped me off and I went home feeling real good about MYself, MY life and MY decision. The next day after I got home from school I saw flowers on the back porch, I first thought it was weird that I had to come through the back door and then I saw flowers on the floor by the door so I picked them up. It said: "Amber it was so nice meeting you". In my head I'm like for me??? WOW I never had flowers before, man that made my day and I even saved the card after the flowers died. That right there was like a answer from GOD saying Yes Amber those are the parents that should raise your baby.
So the time is getting closer and I have to go to labor classes since I am in the maternity home, I went the first night and they said everyone must have a labor coach. I am thinking OK my mom can do it but they said it had to be someone local since Charlotte is 2-3 hours away. I instantly thought of Diane, so I called her and ask her can she be my labor coach? She said "Yes" and I felt so happy and not alone, Diane then would come and get me for class and we would have a blast. She would take me out to eat, to go get ice cream and she even bought me music for when I go into labor and a stress ball, man Diane was my mom while I was in Asheville. I remember having contractions all night and Pasty the house mom saying go back to bed they are too far apart. The next morning the pain was hurting and I am in tears because as much as I wanted this to be over but then agaian I didn't. I went to the hospital and the house parents called my mom and Diane to come to the hospital. So of course Diane beat my parents there and she helped me and coached me along. My parents finally got there and my mom came into the delivery room and they were both there until I had the baby.
November 11, 1998 at 8:11pm she was born. Yes I was in labor all day and I was exhausted. I wanted to name her so I did and I named her Maraleigh Marie. After I had her the nurses keep her in the nursery until I wanted her. My parents finally went to the hotel to wash up and my mom said she would come right back the second I called her. I rang for the nurse and asked her to get my baby. This beautiful baby came into the room with the nurse and I was teary eyed. The nurse placed her in my arms and left, as soon as she left I cried and I was so emotional. I remember saying I love you baby and I got to do whats right for you. I just kept telling her I loved her and she will always be in my heart. I was crying too much so I called my mom and was just crying in the phone.. All she said was "I'm coming up there I will be there in ten minutes." When she came into the room she saw the baby and she then too began to cry.. It was very emotional at that time. I then asked the nurse to come get her and I tried to go to sleep. The next morning I woke up got her dressed and let them take pictures of her. Everyone was there so I had to hold it together and I told Diane I wanted to see Jimmie and Chuck. The baby had to stay a extra day longer but I was able to go home and then that's when I got to say my good byes to Maraleigh and kiss her and tell her I love her. Diane let Jimmie and Chuck in the room and the baby was outside I remember them hugging me telling me they loved me and they will always be there for me. I left the room to see my parents, my baby, and Diane and I was sobbing, I gave the baby one last kiss and walked down the hall with my parents on my side.. I remember to this day while leaving the parking lot turning onto the main street I saw this guy get hit by a car while he was on his bike. I cried even more thinking this was the worst day ever... I went back to the maternity home packed my things and said good byes to the house parents and other pregnant women and on the way home to Charlotte I tryed to show no emotion. As the days went on well at least for the first 21 were the hardest. There were many days that I wanted to pick up that phone and call Diane to tell her I want my baby back. I morned and grieved for her and I still do. Birthdays are the hardest to deal with and I even dedicated this song "Somewhere out there" by Vival goes west every year on her birthday...
The parents are STILL as wonderful as ever, they STILL send me pictures, updates and letters. I love them so much and I could not have ask god for a better family. The mail is like a healing in a way and without that and BirthMom Buds I do not know where I would be. I am happy and content knowing my child has more than I do and her mom and dad love her unconditional.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Well I want to first say Hello and Thank you for visiting my site.. I never blogged before well except for on myspace but does that really count?? Anyways My friend told me about this so I am going to try.... I never wrote my adoption story and I have been finding intrest in doing so........ I have so much to say and so many things I can post but I will see what this blogging comes about... lol..
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